Why Change Feels Hard - and Why You Aren’t Broken
If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of a change thinking I can’t do this, maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, or is this a sign I’m not cut out for this, you’re not alone. Whether it’s a new role, a new leader, adopting new processes, starting new habits, or a personal turning point - change has a way of making us feel broken. But what if the struggle isn’t a warning, but instead a sign that you’re exactly where you need to be?
I’ve led enterprise-wide transformations, coached leaders through ambiguity, built frameworks from the ground up, and navigated countless personal changes. But here’s the truth: change is never just about the process. It’s personal and it’s where real growth happens.
If you’re looking for the ‘secret sauce’ that makes all change successful - I’ll let you in on a secret: there is no checklist, methodology, or framework that, even if followed to a tee, can guarantee your success. Too often, we latch on to checklists, frameworks & plans thinking if we follow them perfectly, change will be easy. But change doesn’t follow a script. It unfolds in real time, influenced by people, resistance, culture and context. Change (and successfully navigating and managing change) isn’t a recipe - it’s a relationship. It demands listening, adapting, and staying present.
Change feels hard because it asks us to let go of control, to release our expectations and beliefs around how we think it should happen. It’s forces us to sit with the unknown and even question our identity. Change brings levels of uncertainty and a Pandora’s Box of unexpected situations no individual could ever anticipate. It’s not about being broken; it’s about being human.
The uncertainty, doubt, perceived chaos and fear are all emotional data points. They aren’t signs of failure, they are markers of momentum. And if they are really listened to, are beacons of light guiding us through the foggy night. When you start seeing the emotions and setbacks as data points instead of roadblocks or a red flag from the universe saying you aren’t capable, you unlock the ability to move forward not simply faster - but wiser as well.
Instead of obsessing over the perfect next step or meeting that set in stone go-live date, what if instead you focused on building trust in yourself, your team, or those stakeholders you’re trying to get to change? What if successfully navigating a change wasn’t about always feeling certain or having all of the answers - but about staying flexible, reflective, and open to learning?
There’s nothing about you that needs fixing. You need (or your team’s need) to feel safe enough to take that next step forward. That safety starts with awareness, grace, and a willingness to see the mess not as a problem - but as part of the path forward.
If this resonates, take a moment to write down one belief you have about how a change you’re currently navigating should feel. Ask yourself, is it helping or holding you back? In the middle of a change - I encourage you to pause and reflect:
What am I feeling right now? Do I know how those I’m asking to change are feeling?
What expectation am I holding that could be creating friction?
What is one thing I can do to make myself or others feel safe during this change?
Here’s the truth: Change doesn’t ask you to be perfect - it asks you to be present. To trust yourself in the mess, to stay open when it would be easier to shut down, and to remember that discomfort isn’t a red flag - it’s a sign of growth.
You aren’t behind. You’re not failing. You’re becoming. And that’s the real work of change.